Opening lines
27 May 2014

Andrew Lownie gives examples from recent submissions of how not to address agents if one wants one’s work to be treated seriously.

You are the hottest hustler in the UK. Your reputation internationally proceeds you.

Well hello Mr. Andrew Lownie,

Hello, Mrs. Andrew Lownie,

Dear Mr. or Ms.,

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,

Dear Andrew Lownie Literary,

The Consulting Editor, The Andrew Lownie Literary Agency Ltd, 36 Great Smita Street,

Publishing Agent,

Dear Fellows,

Good fortune

Dear Messrs.

hi, dude

Hi Thomas,

Dear Respectful One,

Hello!

Hello dearest one.

Dear Mr. Andrew,

Dear Potential Partner,

Hi There, Dear friend, Dear one:

Dear Honorable Literary Agent . At the outset an indomitable honor to be writing this email to you .

Respected Andrew lounie, the Literature agency Christian Greetings to you from Inidia. I am a brother and Evangelist,

It’d a be a privilege to be represented by you and your mesmerizing agency for my poetry books to the world’s gargantuan publishers - for print publication

Dear Honorable & Respected Literary Agent . At the outset a privilege to be writing this email to you . It’d a be an honor be represented by you and your triumphant Literary Agency to the world’s largest publishers , for my poetry books

Dear Honorable and Respected Literary Agent / Patron . Hope this email finds you in mesmerizing happiness and prosperity . At the outset , a triumphant privilege to be writing to you .